Free PDF Taking the War Out of Our Words, by Sharon Strand Ellison
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Taking the War Out of Our Words, by Sharon Strand Ellison
Free PDF Taking the War Out of Our Words, by Sharon Strand Ellison
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Voices of Integrity (December 1, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0998244600
ISBN-13: 978-0998244600
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
32 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#157,719 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life and Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition are essentials and the best books on communication I've read.This one (Taking the War Out of Our Words) is less reviewed but it's my favorite out of the three. This book gives A LOT of information. I personally believe that anyone who has trouble "taking things personally" would GREATLY benefit. Why? Because not only do you learn the Six traditional warlike approaches in communication BUT you also see how people poorly format their words in a way that their words are offensive. Will this solve your problem of taking things personally? Maybe not (that's a decision and determined path you have to choose for yourself) but this book is a really good start to see how language and your emotions have been preventing you from seeking the happiness and resolve you desire.After you're done finding out what's wrong with language, you learn how to use it correctly. I especially enjoyed the breakdowns of statements, questions and predictions and HOW TO USE THEM (wish I could increase font size more). Unfortunately, with most brilliant systems and ideas, I feel sad that most people will read the first section of the book, label someone a counter-attacker and never seek resolve.You won't be a master of communication after reading the book, but you will know what you said wrong or they said wrong after an disagreement. For those who read all the way to the end, study and try to apply this as much they can everyday only good things will come.My life is significantly better and I have been self-aware enough to disable many rough situations from happening after reading this book plus the two others I've listed.
This is an excellent book for learning how to help find consensus in difficult situations. The first part of the book explains what we usually do when we come into conflict with other people, and usually with less-than-desired results. The second part of the book explains different techniques to use to help the other side not be put on the defensive so that real communication takes place.I have used these techniques when I teach my students, dealing with co-workers, even when talking about internal issues with family members. In the past, any discussion would end up in a shouting match and someone would always get their feelings hurt. Now, I use the techniques in this book and we all have real dialogue -- not just a bunch of monologues.I HIGHLY recommend this book for anyone who is interested in conflict resolution.
This book is not a quick read. It is a thoughtful read that must be read as if it is a text book. I am not saying that it is difficult to read. It is not. For me at least, I am having to unlearn decades of personal interaction and communications reflexes that were ingrained in my thought process from my earliest days. I don't have to be combative and confrontational. I can learn to be a better communicator.
I keep "Taking the War Out of Our Words" nearby. Sharon Strand Ellison does a comprehensive job of breaking down our communication to its most basic forms and then does a masterful job of building practical techniques to make communication non-defensive and, dare I say--kinder and gentler. It takes practice--likely a lifetime commitment -- to break some of our most "war-like" default habits of communication. Ellison also is very clear about how to ensure healthy boundaries when things get out of hand. The main point is to make communication better between you and the people you interact with everyday. There is a completely selfish reason to take this work on--your life will improve. I highly recommend this book to anyone serious about practicing good communication.
It takes some doing to really learn the approach to negotiation that this book outlines. You'll need to study and practice, since it requires a new way of thinking about interactions with others. The techniques outlined are very powerful. Highly recommend this book to anyone who is frequently in negotiations of some kind. But practice, practice, practice!
This is an excellent book. I am a member of the Collaborative Family Law Association of St. Louis. We chose this book to use for a study group to help us talk more effectively in our team approach in helping people divorce in a non-adversarial way. It has been a great help to us in organizing our thoughts on how to communicate in a non-defensive manner. Take your time to read it and digest it as it takes a couple of pass through readings to really understand it. I love the summaries at the end of each chapter. Start with those to get the overview and then the chapter will make more sense on the first read. Then use what she suggests for a more peaceful world.
Love this book and it's making such a difference in how I deliver a message.
This book has changed the way I interact with my fellow woman/man. I, too, had fallen into the defensive behaviors that the book describes. All my conversations *were* battles. I hadn't realized that was what was keeping me from resolution in so many areas of my life. Although not a fix-all, it has taught me how to deflate hot conversations so that we can come to agreements, how to find out what conversations are really about, and has made me a calmer person as a result. If you're truly ready to change, this book is for you and you won't be dissappointed. - Maggie
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